{she speaks 2018}

For the first time in my adult life, I boarded a plane by myself, without my husband, my girls or anyone I knew, and I set out for my first solo adventure. Across the country I flew, hitting the ground running from the moment I stepped off the airplane.

I walked into the hotel with open hands and a heart ready to receive. I didn’t fully know what to expect, the excitement surging through me as I checked in and looked over the itinerary. I chose the various workshops I wanted to attend months ago. As I scanned the paper, I was happy with the ones I saw scheduled on the crisp white page.

I was inundated with endless feelings of possibility as the main session began. My eyes widened as I realized the words coming from the speaker were similar to my own heart struggle lately, one that I have been battling through for months. How easy can it be for us to place our security in things that are insecure, moveable, shakable. But placed in the Almighty God, our security is immovable, steady, sure. It spoke encouragement to my heart and I knew this conference was exactly where I needed to be.

The first two workshops left me hungry for more as I sat scribbling notes as quickly as I could. The fatigue crept in, but I was determined to push it away so I could soak up every last word spoken.

The conference continued on, worship, main sessions, workshops. My tired hand having a difficult time keeping up. The excitement helped, bringing me through the full body exhaustion I was experiencing.

I met some beautiful women throughout the couple of days. Women who were also there with expectant hearts. Being in a room with so many like-minded women singing praises as one voice was incredibly powerful and brought me to tears often. It was instantaneous community.

I left the conference in the early hours of the morning. To return the rental car, board an early flight, and get home to my girls and husband as quickly as I possibly could. I sat on the plane in and out of sleep, in the moments of consciousness reflecting back on my time there. I pulled out many wonderful nuggets but I think there were a few things that sunk in deep.

God has placed a calling on each our lives. I want to walk in that calling with open hands and an expectant heart. Ready to go where He leads, ready to jump all in. He has first called me to be a wife and a mother, roles that I am thankful I have.

Our time is just a vapor here on this earth. It will be finished before we know it. I think sometimes I want to just hurry up and rush through this season and that season. Especially the seasons that are harder than the others. But what was being confirmed in my own heart is a greater theme that I have been praying through for months now. That God would bring me into the present moment. In that moment, I can see my calling and purpose, even in the seemingly mundane things of life.

I mother three girls, some days seem more humdrum than others. And those days I wonder what my purpose is. And then I look over to find my oldest ready to play pretend, my middle wanting to dress up, and the little wanting to read. All of those things that make up my ordinary days. Those moments offer space to live in the present, right then and there.

Whatever else God has for me, I am excited to uncover along the way.

Mamas, I want this to be an encouragement for you, too. God sees you in the ordinary, the everyday, and the monotonous tasks of laundry folding and dish washing and playing with your kids. Those are not unnoticed duties. I think we can also be open to what He is calling you to just beyond that. Encouraging another mom friend, starting up a conversation with the barista at the coffee shop, or whatever it is. We are all called to ministry, to share His love with everyone around us.

My heart is full, my brain is on overload, and I am thankful to be home with the ones I love so deeply. I feel encouraged as I move forward in this life, confident in God’s plan and purpose for my own life.

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