This household is battling sickness this week. Well, the past couple of weeks really. That seems to be everybody’s story lately. This time of year, there is illness lurking around every corner, or in every public place really.
I heard this report on the radio a couple of days ago, in the thick of our own sickness. It said that people are now thinking that the cold and flu can be spread by just breathing the same air as someone who is sick. Not just by them coughing or sneezing in the same room.
Gasp. I don’t love the sound of that. In fact, it makes me want to hide out in my room forever spraying thieves on everything. Or at least keep Bernadette cooped up forever, which is unrealistic.
I know, I can’t protect her from every little germ, nor is that my job. When she gets sick though, it can turn, really quickly. Not always, but sometimes.
Bernadette was the last little to get sick. Her oldest sister first, middle, followed by her. David and I also caught it. Rare for us both.
Unfortunately, Bernadette’s turned into pneumonia. That’s never easy for any child, and is especially scary when your child is already more prone to respiratory issues. She can take a turn for the worse rather quickly causing panic to surge through me.
I’m learning continually that I know her the best over anyone. I know when she needs help that I can’t give her. I’m learning how to listen to that mom gut. I didn’t listen to that earlier this week. I should have, but I didn’t for various reasons I am still sorting through.
Today, things are looking up. Bernadette’s little body is strong. She fights hard. Her fever has been up and down but not high enough to take her for the thousandth time this week. Luckily, I already have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow. Whether that’s an office visit or video chat, I will make that call closer to the scheduled appointment time.
Today though, it’s been a day. Her appetite has been minimal this week and that brings a whole other sense of panic. Dehydration. Weight. Nurishment. Her overall mood is grumpy and clingy, super rare for her in general and mostly occurs when something truly is wrong.
I’m currently sitting in the car waiting for David to take our oldest to gymnastics. I don’t want Bern to be around any other possible germs especially while her body is still trying to fight off this pneumonia. Her system is different than ours. A lot different. I don’t want to risk her getting something while she is already compromised. But I also don’t want her sister to miss out on her special activity, a highlight of her week. So maybe for now, this is how we do things. We switch off making the sisters feel special and also taking care of Berni.
I’ve had plenty of tears today for various reasons. And so have each of the girls. Bern, because she’s still not feeling well and her fever has been coming and going most of the day. The middle for lack of snuggle time with mama. The oldest, well, she has big emotions and today it was because I couldn’t stay at gymnastics with her.
A friend dropped off dinner tonight. A welcomed gift. I am still fighting off this cold and dinners this week have been few and far between. We ran out of our gluten free dairy bread today and there is no more almond butter. Sandwiches were not an option. Instead, we had a beautiful homemade veggie soup. It felt good to have a nourishing meal, one that I knew would help all of our bodies. What a gift. A true blessing. A selfless friend who predicted a need and met it.
She did unfortunately come during meltdown central time. My tears were just starting to flow as my oldest was sprawled on the floor in the hallway refusing to get her gymnastics clothes on because I couldn’t stay with her. My middle was who knows where but came running out looking as disheveled as ever not listening to my words of getting her sock and shoes on. My littlest in my arms, whom I promptly set down on the floor so I could take the box of yumminess from my friend and set it down on the counter that is covered in crumbs, dirty dishes, all sorts of papers, and medicine syringes.
Bernadette just laid there. I walked back over, looked at my friend and could feel her warmth spreading. She quickly offered to do something, which I kindly replied, I don’t even know what you could do at this point. And besides, I don’t want to share our germs with everyone else.
She offered some beautiful words of encouragement and I felt back in the game, loaded the car with all the kids, fully clothed, with water bottles in hand, and drove to the gym.
I had a few minutes to spare and of course turned to social media to numb my mind instead of turning to God to ask Him to carry me through whatever the rest of the this day brings my way. I am so weak and it’s in my weakness He is strong.
God is still so gracious. He sees me in my distress. He offers His strong and mighty arms as a place of rest and refuge as He quietly assures my heart that He sees me, He knows my struggles, and He will never leave me.